Member of the Radical Middle

Why do people love to dive in the dirt and wallow around in it? Ford? Kavanaugh? Who do you believe? What does it say about our culture? Our world?

Not me, man. If I stick so much as a pinky-toe into that muck the whole thing will suck me in like a giant black hole and squeeze my head right off my body.

We don’t know! We choose our side based on our previous experiences or our political agendas. Why can’t we just say, “The truth is, either story could be equally possible?” If we are honest about it, this could just as easily be a smear campaign as an underreported account of a young man who did not learn to respect another person’s (or people’s) rights to their own body(ies). Both scenarios have happened, could happen, do happen. Instead, we use this awful story to fuel our previously held beliefs about the world. What we should be saying is, “ENOUGH!”

Why are we all so certain we know everything all of a sudden? Good Lord, the suffering on both sides! Where is the compassion? Why do we lean in to this nastiness like rubberneckers passing smoke on a highway?

Goodness, I ache for women who have stories that shape the very fiber of their beings. There aren’t many of us who haven’t experienced some level of powerlessness. There are stories that could break you with a whisper. And, there are stories that are so mundane they become as common as the inappropriate comments all girls receive or the dialog in a James Bond Film. But, what about our boys? When we abandon them to be raised by the internet without providing an explicit counter-narrative, what do we think we are raising? Sixteen-year-olds are supposed to just figure this out without help? For God’s sake, if we learn nothing from this, let’s look at how we are raising our kids in silence because we are too embarrassed to have the discussions that HAVE to happen.

I am standing at the edge of the abyss. This is as far as I peek in. I turn around and tell my daughter. “I will always believe you.” I tell my boys, “Your reputation has to carry you out of any situation.” Is this a double-standard? Yes.

Am I alone living in this tension?